


Karkat Vantas (Almost) Punches Bro Strider In The Face At Walmart

by mouthword



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 18:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9914681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mouthword/pseuds/mouthword
Summary: Sometimes, societal standards involving who can and can't be punched in the face in the middle of a Walmart get in the way of punching someone who really deserves it. Sometimes, it's the thought that counts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I initially intended for this to be a short comic, but then I realized that I hardly have the patience to draw out the whole thing...so have a short little fic instead!

_**"Remember when this place had, like, an entire Duck Dynasty aisle?"** _

Dave kept his pace slow as Karkat looked over their grocery list he had saved on his phone, glancing about at the different aisles of random crap that the 'non-food' side of Walmart always had. He leaned against the cart, lazily pushing it along with his weight, offering a side glance to Karkat, and stopping once he did.

"Vaguely. I remember seeing a blanket with four bearded guys on it in here once, and I was just like...who the fuck wants to snuggle up with something like that? I don't think blankets with real people printed on them should exist outside of the realm of, like, celebrities that people have weird sexual fixations on." Karkat replied, glancing up from the list and only then realizing just how far they'd strayed from the food section. Considering Karkat was looking down the whole time, and Dave was simply following him, it was no wonder they ended up this lost. He opted to put his phone away for the time being, taking the lead as he made his way back towards the lines of freezers and the overwhelming smell of Subway.

"So I shouldn't get you a Benedict Cumberbatch blankie for your birthday?" Dave pulled a small smirk, noting that Karkat had no idea where he was going. Well, he noted that a long time ago, but he opted to just follow him aimlessly instead of actually notifying him that there was nothing edible in sight, lest they make a meal out of some infant clothes or discount DVDs.

"I'd say something like that doesn't exist, but I've been disappointed by Hot Topic before." Karkat quipped in response, stopping again once they reached the freezer section and glancing to Dave. "What do you want to eat tonight? We should probably just grab some food and get out before one of us impulse buys a ceramic My Little Pony piggy bank or someshit like that."  
  
"Man, can't we just like...order something? I'm worn the fuck out from following you around Blue Redneck Hell all night. I mean like, the essential Walmart Subway is like, right over there. We could just get some mediocre sandwiches and throw down some witty banter about how Subway smells ten times better than it actually tastes. Like, what to they got in there, some weird manufactured bread smell machine? Motherfuckin' Walt Disney is fit to sue these fucks from the grave for jackin' his subliminal smell vent patent." Dave rambled on, giving an exaggerated sigh to express his feigned exhaustion.

"The day we order out more than once a month is the day we're wealthy enough to shop at a cushy uptown Target and not "Blue Redneck Hell". We're fucking broke, dude. Why else would we willingly subject ourselves to Rollback Purgatory like this? We're at fucking Walmart, Dave." Karkat scoffed in reply, since Dave's witty little rant provided him with no feedback whatsoever. "Tacos?"

"Tacos." Dave nodded, opting to just agree with him instead of engaging in further banter. The sooner they could go home and he could take his pants off, the better. Not like anyone would mind if he took his pants off in here anyway, it _was_ a Walmart, after all. He continued to follow Karkat along, as Karkat made his way towards one of the refrigerated aisles. Dave wasn't paying too much attention, blanking out for the most part since Karkat was taking the lead on this particular shopping excursion. He idly glanced down aisles as they passed them, mind straying to thoughts of pizza rolls and hot pockets over actually making anything, when he caught a quick glance of a familiar figure. He was all too quick to take a few steps back, leaning forward and taking a firm grasp of Karkat's wrist so that he wouldn't step forward either, earning himself a confused, annoyed glance.

"Dude." Was Karkat's initial response, having nearly toppled over when Dave pulled him back. He looked to Dave, deeply confused and trying to figure out why Dave stopped him as if he was about to step right into an invisible pit of badgers or something. He figured Dave just saw a sale on microwave burritos or something and felt the need to halt him, but he seemed...off. He grit his teeth, eyes wide and glancing off at nothing in particular, breath shallow. He looked like he'd just seen a ghost or something. Karkat's annoyed expression softened, and he brought his other hand to the one on his hand. Comfort Dave first, ask questions later. "Hey. Are you alright? What's going on?" He kept his voice as low as one could while still being heard over the background noise, softly patting his hand a few times to try and gain his attention.

"It's...nothing." Dave murmured in response, blinking a few times, though not offering Karkat any form of eye contact. "Let's just go, we have enough frozen food and shit at home." He added, loosening his grip on Karkat's wrist, though not letting go of it.

"Do you want to go back to the car?" Karkat attempted to form a compromise with him. "I can just get the rest of the stuff. I'll only be like...five minutes." He gave Dave's hand a final pat, before attempting to step forward once more. Dave was all to quick to clamp down on his wrist again as he tried to enter the next aisle, grip like a vice.

"Dude. No. We have to go." He spoke up a little louder, though he quickly became conscious of his volume and lowered his head, attempting to peer down the next aisle without being seen to make sure he hadn't been heard.

This was when Karkat started piecing things together. This sort of thing happened sometimes, though at a much lower intensity than this. Sometimes Dave would see something assumedly inconsequential, like someone in a Muppets shirt or the sight of fireworks on sale around 4th of July, and he'd fall into this sort of unresponsive, near-terrified state. Out of his own curiosity as to what set Dave off, he glanced down the next aisle. There stood a man, filling his cart with various microwavable foodstuffs, nothing too terribly suspicious there. Still, there was something about him. Something...familiar about the curvature of his face, the shape of his nose...

Something unmistakably "Strider".

"Jesus fuck, you have got to be shitting me. Is that him?" Karkat shot an angry squint down the aisle, balling up his fists as he began to struggle against Dave's grasp. "Ohhh I've been waiting for this. I've had fucking daydreams that border on murderously psychopathic about this. Lifetime Original Movie comeuppance thoughts. This is gonna be good." He yanked his arm against Dave's grasp a few times, though Dave refused to let him go.

"Dude. Dude! The fuck do you think you're doing." Dave furrowed his brow, keeping a firm grip on his wrist as Karkat seemed two seconds away from going absolutely ballistic.

"The fuck does it look like I'm doing? I'm gonna go punch him in the face! What else would I do?" Karkat quipped back in response, continuing to struggle like a child trying to escape their parents grasp to bolt off to the toy section.

"Dude. Stop. Listen!" Dave yanked him back, grabbing him by the shoulders and finally making eye contact with him, his expression a mix of fear and frustration. "It's not worth it. You're like...5'7" and haven't worked out a day in your life. I ain't about to let you go over there and get wailed on because you've got fuckin' little dog syndrome like a chihuahua pickin' a fight with a great dane. Do you really think having a fuckin' assault charge against you or somethin' is gonna _help_ anything? Nothing you do is gonna change anything, Karkat. It ain't worth it." Dave rambled off, panic ever present in his voice, breath still coming out in shallow huffs. Karkat remained absolutely silent for a few moments, though his aggressive expression changed to one of shock as Dave spoke. After a few moments of silence, Dave sighed and let go of him, stepping back and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Fuck...I'm sorry." He muttered.

"No it's...fine. You don't have to be sorry." Karkat blinked a few times, then sighed himself. "You wanna get pizza or something? We can come back tomorrow." He motioned in the direction they came from.

"...Yeah. Pizza sounds nice." Dave nodded, casually wiping his nose on his sleeve, before extending his other hand to take Karkat's. Karkat was quick to take his hand, directing him back towards the exit on the other end of the store.


End file.
